Recently, we binged on the most dangerous candy in America. Now, we toss the worst Halloween candy straight into the trash.
True story: one Halloween, when I was quite young, my Nana C. bought a GIANT bag of Dum-Dums to hand out to trick-or-treaters. My dad and uncles did nothing but give her grief: “Ma, that’s like the cheapest candy you can give out! Kids hate those! They’re gonna egg your house!” I didn’t understand the ribbing at all. Gimme cream soda and butterscotch Dum-Dums all damn day, I say. But hey, maybe I’m in the minority. That’s why we put these things to a vote.
I feel like the worst Halloween candy edition of the 12-Inch Poll is more problematic than the best Halloween candy version. Last year, I offered up fistfuls of the ten most popular fun-sized treats you find in the candy bowl on October 31. Sure, some of you piped up to tell me your particular favorite was missing from the mix. But on the whole, we celebrated all the flavors we love and a certain peanut butter-based candy ended up on top. This week, it’s the dregs at the bottom of the pillowcase that stay there long after Thanksgiving has come and gone.
The Worst Halloween Candy: Which One Goes in the Trash?
And therein lies the problem. All of these candies, to me, are bad. It’s just a question of which one is the worst, right? Not so fast. Inevitably, someone is going to pipe up and tell me one of the worst candies belongs on the best list. It’s their favorite, it’s misunderstood, etc. You know the story. But the best ship has sailed. It’s a worst week for the 12-Inch Poll. So scroll through, reacquaint yourself with these sugary abominations, then cast your vote. Just save the Dum-Dums for me.