On the occasion of the anniversary of Weezer‘s self-titled debut, it’s Weezer ranked, Blue Album edition. And it’s all good.

I skipped school on the day Weezer dropped their debut. May 10, 1994. This was not my choice. This was the choice of my best friend Chris, who loved to coax me away from a normal school day for breakfast and record shopping and movies.

It would go down like this. We’d meet in the band hallway before first bell. He’d say: “Let’s get out of here.” I’d protest, but if it was a day that I didn’t have any tests or quizzes, I’d eventually cave. What can I say? I was a good student. Most of the time.

Weezer Ranked: How Did We First Hear The Blue Album?

So off we went on a bright May Tuesday in Chris’ 86 Mercury Cougar–baby blue with tinted windows–to the Burlington Mall. The move was to get breakfast at Brigham’s, then walk the Mall until the record store opened. Pretty sure it was a Sam Goody.

Here’s where things get foggy. Weezer didn’t officially release “Undone – The Sweater Song” and the accompanying Spike Jonze-directed video until six weeks after the album came out. So how did we even know to pick it up on CD that day?

Weezer Ranked: The Blue Album, Best to…Most Best?

My guess is that WFNX had the advance, as they usually did back in those days, and we heard “Undone” there. Either that, or Chris blind-bought it from the New Releases display, as he usually did back in those days. He was a risk-taker.

We spent the rest of the day cruising in the Cougar with the album on repeat. Every song sounded better than the last, every song was a singalong. Thirty years on, and it still sounds that way. It’s a perfect album. So let’s do the Weezer ranked thing.

• 10) "No One Else"

  The disclaimer, of course, is that there are no bad songs on the Blue Album. Hence the “Best to…Most Best?” joke I cracked earlier. This is the bit. But this is also a ranked list. And you have to start somewhere. So we’ll start with the one with the creepy lyrics. Ironic, yes. But still creepy.

• 9) "Holiday"

  I’m literally rounding out the bottom of this list by looking at the album’s track listing and, if it takes me more than .01 seconds to start singing the hook to the song in my head, it gets a low slot. Sorry, “Holiday.” You’re just not as catchy as the rest.

• 8) "Buddy Holly"

  The opening lyrics just haven’t aged well, I’m afraid. Ironic, yes. But still a little cringe. Of course, if they earth is still around in 30 years and someone is reading this, they’ll be able to use the 2054 version of “cringe” to describe me using “cringe” in 2024.

• 7) "Undone - The Sweater Song"

  Four songs in and I’m only now realizing what a foolish undertaking this was. I have two of the album’s three hit singles in the bottom-four of the ranking. But wait, that’s the whole bit: it’s a ranking that’s not an actual ranking. All the songs are classics. Perfect album. It’s all good.

• 6) "Surf Wax America"

  “You take your car to work…I’ll take my board…” But the a capella section! It’s phenomenal, right? RIGHT?

• 5) In The Garage

  There are songwriters who, in 30 years of musical output, never come anywhere close to writing a teen anthem. Rivers Cuomo did it on his first damn album. And it wasn’t even a single! Whether you’re a suburban ’70s kid, ’80s kid, ’90s kid, or whatever, this one’s universal.

• 4) "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here"

  You can write a love song. You can write a longing for love song. You can write a post-break up love song. Or, if you’re Rivers Cuomo, you can write a song that’s all three of those things and make it the third song on your debut album. Like a damn boss.

• 3) "Only In Dreams"

  Not only is this one of the top songs on the Blue Album, it’s one of the top songs in Weezer’s entire catalog. And it’s one of the greatest album-enders of the entire decade of the ’90s. Eight minutes in change, beginning and ending with that iconic bass line. Full-circle.

• 2) "My Name Is Jonas"

  We move from the album closer to the album opener. I’m forever obsessed with a band’s first song on their first album. It’s your opening salvo. But you can’t overthink it! Weezer knocked it out of the park. Catchy acoustic riff, slamming power chords, all in 6/8 time. A masterpiece.

• 1) "Say It Ain't So

  I’m topping the list with one because it’s not just a great Weezer song, it’s a great ’90s song. It has that quiet-loud dynamic that was so prevalent in the alternative rock of the time. It has a bit of ska to it. The music video captures the zeitgeist, too. It’s as if Weezer is saying: “What we do is great, but we can also do what everyone else does as good they do it, if not better.” Flex.

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