Throw These Thanksgiving Sides In the Trash: 12-Inch Poll

Earlier, we dug into the favorite Thanksgiving sides in Massachusetts. Now, it’s time to take one off the table.

 

As I’ve said before, I was never a big turkey guy growing up. Turkey is fine and all, but when I was sitting down at the table for Thanksgiving dinner, it was the side dishes I was waiting to dig into. And that table was full of delicious side dishes, courtesy of my Nana Jeanie.

 

Every year, my Nana Jeanie would host my mom’s side of the family for Thanksgiving dinner. She’d be cooking up a storm in the kitchen, with assistance from my mom and my Auntie Colleen. After a midday appetizer of sherbet and cranberry juice, the serving platters and dishes would start hitting the table. And so would we.

 

The mountain of mashed potatoes was what I always had my eyes set on first. I’d slather them in butter, but not gravy. That was for the turkey. The carrots were always tasty, too. But not to my cousin Patrick. He hated carrots. The family resorted to calling them “M&M carrots” in order to get him to eat them. And that’s what we’re getting at for this week’s Thanksgiving-themed 12-Inch poll: what are the side dishes you absolutely hate?

 

Throw These Thanksgiving Sides In the Trash: 12-Inch Poll

Maybe it’s a Thanksgiving side you were forced to choke down at the kid’s table. Maybe it’s a food that has to be homemade and can never, ever come from a can or a jar. Scroll through my short list of side dishes, choose the one that you will not eat under any circumstances, and cast your vote. Maybe even send the link to your cousins or other family members and get them on board. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

• Black Olives

  Aside from making olive fingers, why are these even a Thanksgiving tradition in some homes? I like olives fine. Just not on the turkey table.

• Celery & Cream Cheese

  Another weirdo Yankee Thanksgiving tradish. There comes a time when one should question why one does a thing. If the answer is “because we’ve always done it,” that’s usually not a good reason.

• Cranberry Sauce

  Cranberry jelly? HELL yes! Cranberry sauce? HELL no!

• Crescent Rolls

  Damn you, Pillsbury Doughboy. Get your crummy tube rolls out of here and pass me the homemade.

• Gravy in a Jar

  Heinz Gravy and not homemade? On Thanksgiving? Sacrilege!

• Green Bean Casserole

  If this doesn’t win I don’t even know what we’re doing here. Nostalgia be damned, this is a garbage side dish.

• Instant Mashed Potatoes

  You’d best be skipping the Betty Crocker box and making ’em from scratch. I know, I know. Not everyone can afford to. It’s my privilege getting the best of me.

• Mac & Cheese

  I thought it was a southern thing, but apparently it’s the most popular side dish in Vermont. Which makes sense, seeing as Vermont is weird.

• Pearl Onions (with peas?)

  As a kid, I hated onions. As an adult, I love them. But I don’t understand the tiny-onions-mixed-with-peas side dish.

• Squash

  Roasted acorn, pureed butternut…pass. No disrespect to one of the Three Sisters, but you can have it all.

• Boxed Stuffing

  That Stove Top box on the counter screams: “Happy Thanksgiving! I’m cutting corners!

• Sweet Potato Casserole

  Throwing this one in here just to see if it gets any votes.