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Sorting 5 Popular Rock Bands Into Hogwarts Houses

By Dave & Chuck the Freak
What Hogwarts House would your favorite band be in? (Photo by Stephen Chernin/Getty Images)

I am a huge Harry Potter fan. The books? Incredible, some of the best ever. The movies? Fantastic, I enjoy them all. The Harry Potter series is probably my favorite of all-time. Honestly, I think about Harry Potter and the Wizarding World more than I’d like to admit. Now, I’ve been thinking about some of our favorite rock bands and how they would fare in the Wizarding World. So, I’ve sorted 5 popular rock bands into Hogwarts Houses.

This combines some of our favorite things on Dave & Chuck The Freak. It’s nerdy, so there’s that. Also, there’s rock which we can also appreciate. Today, I will be playing the role of The Sorting Hat. I will take 5 bands and place them into their proper House. Get ready! It’s time to gather in the Great Hall!

Sorting Popular Rock Bands Into Hogwarts Houses

Personally, I have taken the Official Sorting Quiz to see which Hogwarts House I would be sorted into if I went to the school for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Turns out, I’m a Ravenclaw. It makes sense. Ravenclaws value intelligence and enjoy their schoolwork. I will admit I am a bit of a nerd and always enjoyed going to school and learning. My friends hated going to school, I loved it. I’m definitely a Ravenclaw.

Gryffindor was the House where Harry, Ron, and Hermoine all belonged. Gryffindor is known for valuing bravery and loyalty. Most of the main characters in the books and show were in Gryffindor house.

Slytherin is probably best known for being the “bad” House. However, not everyone in Slytherin is bad or a villain. At the same time…no Dark Wizard has even belonged to a different house. They’re all Slytherin. It’s like how a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square. Draco Malfoy was a Slytherin as was Tom Riddle, who would later become Lord Voldemort. Excuse me…He Who Should Not Be Named.

Finally, there’s Hufflepuff. Don’t forget about Hufflepuff! Although, most do. Hufflepuff tends to be the joke in the Wizarding World. The House is known for being the most inclusive of the four Hogwarts Houses. It values hard work and dedication.

So, there are the Four Hogwarts Houses and their general descriptions. Now that you’re familiar with them, let’s dive in! Here are 5 popular rock bands sorted into Hogwarts Houses!

  • Metallica - Gryffindor

    As stated earlier, most of the main characters in Harry Potter are in Gryffindor. I consider Metallica the main character in the rock world today. So, as the Sorting Hat I have decided to place Metallica in Gryffindor. It makes sense. They’re the main characters, they’re brave and loyal to their fans. Have you ever seen one of their shows? They deliver their A-Game. Metallica is definitely in Gryffindor.

  • Rage Against The Machine - Ravenclaw

    Ravenclaw is a House that values intelligence. Does any band fit that better than Rage Against The Machine? Those are some smart dudes! Tom Morello has a degree from Harvard University! That’s a pretty big deal! You can tell in their lyrics that they know what they’re talking about. They are smart guys, and they definitely belong in Ravenclaw.

  • Mötley Crüe - Slytherin

    Look, Slytherin is famous for being the “bad” house. Likewise, Mötley Crüe is known for being the “bad boys” of rock. They are totally in Slytherin. Also, they’re proud to be there. They can do all their rock and roll behavior down in the dungeons and nobody would blink an eye. They wouldn’t even be the worst ones down there, I’m sure. This was easy for the Sorting Hat.

  • Creed - Hufflepuff

    In the Harry Potter books and movies, Hufflepuff is probably the least discussed. It’s a running joke in the fandom that Hufflepuff is the worst House. It’s considered boring and there aren’t a lot of main character from the books in Hufflepuff. There was Cedric Diggory. That’s about it. People always joke and poke fun at Hufflepuff. The same way people joke and poke fun at Creed. Now, Hufflepuff is actually a great house! They’re good people! There’s nothing to poke fun at. Same with Creed. They’ve got hits! They haven’t done anything terrible, as far as I’m aware. Are we just hating to hate? Creed I welcome you to Hufflepuff!

  • The Rolling Stones - Gryffindor

    The Rolling Stones are one of the biggest names in rock…and they have been for a while now. In the Harry Potter books and movies the biggest names are Gryffindor, so I think it’s safe to place The Rolling Stones in that House. They’re brave, innovative, and are a perfect fit for Gryffindor. It’s now official. The Sorting Hat has spoken.

How did we do? What did we get right? What did we get wrong? What other bands would you sort into Hogwarts Houses if you were in the role of The Sorting Hat?

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