Does Maine Belong In New England?
Greetings, New Englanders! Recently, I, a curious newcomer from a far-off place (a barren wasteland of large mammals and lakes called The Midwest), made a grievous error. In my last blog post—I somehow omitted the great state of Maine from a list of New England states. The outcry was immediate and intense. And so, a question of existential importance arose: Why did I forget Maine? Is Maine the least New England of all New England states? And if not…
Which State Is The Least New England State?
As someone who is basically an alien that crash-landed here in 2019, I have been keenly observing the peculiarities that make New England…well, New England. The goal of this post is to determine if Maine should be booted out of New England. And if Maine stays, which state should get the geographical boot instead? Why? Because 5 is a better number than 6. It’s just easier for a smooth-brained flat-stater like me to remember.
Let’s look at what smart people say
In his amazing book American Nations Colin Woodard says that what makes New England (or as he refers to it more broadly “Yankeedom”) is that people here: “value education, intellectual achievement, communal empowerment, and citizen participation in government as a shield against tyranny. Yankees are comfortable with government regulation. The area was settled by radical Calvinists.” Which is great! But that was 300-400 years ago and honestly a lot has changed since then. We don’t wear hats with buckles or hang people for witchcraft. We drink iced coffee and wear shorts in December which might not be much better.
So what makes a New England State in 2024? Here is my criteria. Does Maine pass the test?
The Amount of Dunkin Donuts Per Person
The Amount of Colleges Per Person
How Harsh Are The Winters
Does The State Have an Identity?
So without further ado, here is a ranking of all of the New England States. Will Maine be allowed to stay in the Calvinist brotherhood?
Colleges Per Capita
Rank State Number of Colleges Number of People 1 College For Every 1 Vermont 17 643,000 37,823 people 2 New Hampshire 25 1,366,000 54,640 people 3 Massachusetts 114 6,893,000 60,474 people 4 Maine 21 1,345,000 64,048 people 5 Connecticut 44 3,565,000 81,023 people 6 Rhode Island 12 1,057,000 88,083 people Dunkin Donuts Per Capita
Rank State Number of Dunks Population 1 Dunkin For Every 1 Rhode Island 210 1,057,000 5033 People 2 New Hampshire 240 1,366,000 5691 People 3 Massachusetts 1,150 6,893,000 5993 People 4 Maine 200 1,345,000 6725 People 5 Connecticut 450 3,565,000 7922 People 6 Vermont 50 643,000 12860 People