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Obituary Remembers Florida Man For His Love Of ‘Marlboros, Fast Women, And Ford Broncos’

Author Cort Freeman
Obituary Remembers Florida Man For His Love Of 'Marlboros, Fast Women, And Ford Broncos' (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

The obituary of a Florida Man is fondly remembering him for his love of “Marlboros, fast women, and Ford Broncos.” That’s a good life.

Your obituary is an important piece of writing that will immortalize your forever. It shares your legacy with readers and highlights what you accomplished and held most dearly in your life. Typically, obituaries will talk about loving your family members and will list off some relatives and family history. It might even mention something you enjoyed doing during your time on earth. However, few obituaries end up like the one this Florida Man received. It sounds like he lived quite the life. This is definitely my kind of obituary. When I go, I expect something awesome like this!

Obituary For Florida Man Highlights Love Of ‘Marlboros, Fast Women, And Ford Broncos’

This one-of-a-kind obituary belongs to Arthur Nixon Bates IV who passed away on March 5th, 2025. His obituary was published in the Tampa Bay Times with the author mentioning that Bates had succumbed to his “life of drugs” and other life choices, per WKRN.

According to WKRN, his obituary read, “He is survived by three daughters, none of whom know how they will get by without dad calling to ask for $20 for cigarettes and methadone, one last time.” Okay, is this supposed to be funny or are they angry? It’s hard to read tone over text!

This entire obituary
byu/WalterTheGoodestBoy inBrandNewSentence

Cort Freeman was born and raised in Metro Detroit. He was named Clarkston High School 2009 Class Clown 13 years after graduating. Totally normal thing to happen. That’s thanks to his time spent as an Intern at Comedy Central and Social Media Correspondent for The Colbert Report. Cort has done comedy across the country, both standing up and sitting down. When he’s not trying to make you laugh on-air and online, he’s probably at home enjoying his favorite shows like Seinfeld, South Park, and The Office. He’s also totally uncomfortable writing about himself in the third person. Cort enjoys writing about comedy, food, sports, and entertainment. So, basically anything and everything.

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5 Hilarious Florida Man Stories Heard On Dave & Chuck The Freak

Honestly, there’s nothing like a good Florida Man story. They’re exciting, they’re wild, they’re far from ordinary. You never know what to expect when you hear a story about a Florida Man. These types of stories have taken over the internet, and rightfully so. Here are 5 hilarious Florida Man stories you’ve heard on Dave & Chuck The Freak!

Some of these individuals committed crazy crimes, while others just accomplished something impressive! They’re not all criminals. However, the best stories typically are.

5 Hilarious Florida Man Stories Heard On Dave & Chuck The Freak

Dave & Chuck The Freak love talking about all sorts of crazy individuals who have done equally crazy things. That’s why you’ll hear segments like “The Times Of India,” “What’s With The Asians?,” and stories about “Those Crazy Canadians.” Truly, you never know what you might hear. People are strange, man.

When it comes to strange people, there seems to be no place like Florida. Maybe it’s the warm weather? Perhaps there’s something in the water. Whatever it is, Florida seems to get a lot of attention for some of its citizens behavior. You just don’t get these kind of stories out of Vermont or Minnesota.

On the show, Dave & Chuck The Freak have shared some absolutely wild stories and crimes that have been committed by a Florida Man. Whenever you hear  a story start with “a Florida man…” you know you’re in for a good story. Now, we’re celebrating the Florida Man with a collection of the best stories that you’ve heard on Dave & Chuck The Freak.

Of course, on the show we’ve talked about many more than just five Florida Men. So, narrowing it down was difficult. It wasn’t an easy feat. However, it’s been done. We did it! Here are 5 of the craziest most hilarious Florida Man stories you’ve heard on Dave & Chuck The Freak!

  • Florida Man Plays Guitar While Having Brain Surgery

    Hey, not every Florida Man story is about a criminal! This is actually a touching story. It also features some rocking metal, so double the points. Watch as this guy plays his guitar during brain surgery! I didn’t know that was possible.

    Read more about this story here!

  • Florida Man Throws Beer Can And Fires Gun After Being Upset By Speeding Drivers

    Ah, here we go. This is the content you came for. When things don’t go your way, this is not how you should act. When things didn’t go his way, this Florida Man chose violence. He threw beer cans at speeding cars and even brought out a gun?

    Read more about this story here!

  • Florida Man Robs House After Homeowner Invites Him In For A Beer

    If someone invites you inside for a beer, you should probably be nice to them! Well, that’s not what happened this time. I’m sure this homeowner has learned his lesson and won’t be inviting any strangers inside for any beverages any time soon. Seriously, why would you do this? It makes no sense to me.

    Read more about this story here!

    Guy Let In For A Beer

  • Florida Man Arrested For 'Molesting' Manatee Mannequin

    Alliteration aside, that’s an awful headline. Yikes. How does…why would…so many questions on this story. But, do I want the answers? Yes. Yes, I do.

    Read more about this story here!

  • Florida Man Tries To Steal Waffle House Tattoo

    Waffle Houses are famous for their delicious food at any hour of the day. However, they’re actually probably more famous for all the fights and drama that seem to happen at a Waffle House location every day. Seriously, it seems like every day there’s a new viral video of a wild fight at a Waffle House. Well, that’s actually not how this story goes. This Florida Man just loves him some Waffle House.

    Read more about the story here!

Author Cort Freeman
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