6 Dating Trends for 2024 That Will Make You Want to Be Celibate

Plenty of Fish released its annual list of new dating trends they expect to see next year.

Great.

They also have some new terms to help singles understand the dating pool. Which we will get to in a moment.

But before we get there, let’s talk dating in the new millennium. These dating trends have emerged in the last decade, and boy, are they infuriating.

Buckle up!

Ghosting: This trend is like a magic act, but instead of a rabbit in a hat, you find your date disappearing into thin air! Seriously, can’t people just say, “I’m not interested”?

Zombieing: Just when you thought they were buried in the dating graveyard, they rise from the dead with a “Hey, stranger.” Please, spare me!

Breadcrumbing: They leave a trail of breadcrumbs, making you believe there’s hope, but it’s just a trail of deceit. It’s like dating Hansel and Gretel’s wicked witch!

Catfishing: Ever met someone online who turns out to be a completely different person in real life? It’s like buying a burger in the picture and getting a sad, deflated patty.

Slow-fading: You’re on the Titanic of love, and your date is slowly sinking without telling you. Come on, just admit you’re not into it instead of pretending to be too busy to reply.

Orbiting: They’re not texting you, but they’re lurking on your social media like an alien spacecraft in your orbit. What’s the point?

Benching: You’re like the substitute player on their bench, waiting for your chance. It’s like they have a whole dating roster and you’re just a backup plan.

Love bombing: They shower you with affection, and you’re thinking, “This is amazing!” Until it’s not, and you realize they’re emotionally unstable.

DTR (Define The Relationship): The moment you bring up DTR, they vanish into thin air, avoiding the conversation like it’s the plague. Can we get some closure, please?

But now, there are MORE terms to understand. And they will make you want to be a nun.

Here are 6 Dating Trends for 2024 That Will Make You Want to Be Celibate

  • 1. Rizz-colored glasses

    A play on the term “rose-colored glasses.” Rizz is short for charisma. It’s when you fall for someone because they’re charismatic, but then realize you’ll never have a real relationship with them.

  • 2. VBD

    Short for “vision board dating.”  Adjusting your dating app location to somewhere you’re thinking of moving to.

  • 3. PMI

    Short for “premature intimacy.”  It’s like TMI, or “too much information.”  It’s when you share too many personal details too early in a relationship.

  • 4. Thera-posing

    It’s when you use “therapy speak” too much, and act like you’re more evolved than you really are.

  • 5. Canon-bailing

    It’s “cultivating your identity outside of a relationship.”  So, putting yourself first.  It’s a play on “cannon ball.”  But also, a “canon event” is slang for a pivotal moment in your life that changes everything. 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr-1sCAu_y0

  • 6. Crypt-ick

    When the person you’re with suddenly feels icky, because they’re way too focused on one specific topic.