19 Signs You Are Clearly a Masshole – How Many Do You Have?
What is a Masshole? First off, it is someone from Massachusetts. Now, let’s be clear here. Just because you’re from Massachusetts doesn’t mean you’re automatically a “Masshole.” We take a…
During a snowstorm, Tuesday, Feb. 4, 2014, Troy Welty shovels snow in his shorts in front of Mathew’s Gallery where he works in Wichita, Kansas. “I wear shorts year-round,” he said. (Mike Hutmacher/Wichita Eagle/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)
(Mike Hutmacher/Wichita Eagle/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)What is a Masshole? First off, it is someone from Massachusetts. Now, let's be clear here. Just because you're from Massachusetts doesn't mean you're automatically a "Masshole." We take a lot of pride in becoming "Massholes." There are several ways to become a "Masshole." In this post, we will take a look at several of them. And just know, you are NOT technically one until you've done at least half of these 19 things.
Let's take a look at what the exact definition of a Masshole is. Depending on who you ask, it could be a term of endearment. Many say it refers to bad driving. Certain Masshole moves drivers may make is, not using a blinker, cutting people off and then flipping THEM off as if they did something wrong and "pulling a U-ey" which is described as making an illegal U-turn. How many of these things have you done?
Regardless of your definition, it seems we all have horrible reputations. People from other New England states will say that when they see anyone driving with a Massachusetts license plate, they'll take extra care because they know there's potential for a "Masshole" to be driving. That's not necessarily fair, however, it seems as if most "Massholes" take a lot of pride in being labeled that. It's more so a term of endearment, one that is almost insulting if it's not labeled on you. Either way, we've asked thousands of people what their opinions are on "Massholes" and have determined that if you haven't done at least half of these 19 things, you are most definitely NOT a "Masshole." So take notes and if you can't check these off your list, you better start. Because with being a "Masshole" comes great responsibility. Enjoy, fellow "Massholes" and if you don't consider yourself one, you better step up your game!
"Had a complete meltdown on 93 during rush hour traffic"
Traffic in Boston, specifically on 93, is a crap shoot. You never know when it starts. So expect there to be bumper to bumper traffic at all hours of every day.
"Walk to Dunkin' in dead winter for an iced coffee"
Massholes love our Dunkin, especially in the winter. It could be negative 10 degrees, but we'll still be drinking iced coffee.
"Wearing a nice warm hoodie with a pair of shorts...probably in the winter"
Massholes will wear a hoodie and shorts in the winter. It usually happens when we reach a 35 degree day after it's been super cold. It's our way of saying, it's getting warmer out so let's wear our shorts to bring a faster spring.
"Driving past a Dunkin' to go to your favorite Dunkin'
Yup, we love our Dunkin'. But many of us have a favorite one. Maybe the employees get your coffee right each time. Maybe the wait is super short. Maybe you love seeing the other regulars.
"Getting road rage behind someone at Market Basket"
Yes, Massholes are always in a rush. Especially when grocery shopping. If you're not walking with a purpose, GET OUT OF OUR WAY.
"Gotten into a fight with someone defending Tom Brady"
You can NOT speak anything negative about the GOAT. Tom Brady is a God around here. Say anything bad, you'll have to pay. Oh, and don't even mention "deflategate."
"Cursed someone out for only doing 5-10 MPH over the speed limit"
Don't ever drive the speed limit. But if you do, you better NOT be in the fast lane!
"Sing Sweet Caroline at the top of your lungs, specifically at Fenway Park"
Not really sure how this came to be, but Sweet Caroline has become a staple to sing at Fenway Park.
"Brake checked a person who cut you off"
You are not a true Masshole until you've brake checked someone who is either riding your ass on the highway or who cut you off.
"Gone to a Red Sox Yankees game and flipped off every Yankee who came to bat"
Regardless of how well or badly the teams are doing, the Red Sox Yankees rivalry will always be alive and well in Massachusetts.
"Said you’re welcome when you hold the door for someone and they don’t say thank you."
It's just common courtesy. If I hold the door for you, SAY THANK YOU! If not, you'll hear me.
"Drinking a dunks ice coffee in a blizzard wearing just a pats hoodie gloves smoking a Newport with a redsox."
Not sure this one really needs an explanation.
"Thrown things at a car during a road rage incident"
Many of us have road rage. It's a bad thing. But many of us have taken it to the extreme by throwing objects at other cars.
"Moved to Florida and then moved back to Mass"
People always think the grass is greener. Sure it's warmer in Florida, but they don't have as many Dunkin', Fenway, the Tobin or the Charles River.
"you've intentionally given wrong directions just so the tourist will leave your town"
Many people don't like tourists, or they just like to mess with them. For this reason, you may end up in the wrong place on purpose.
"Beeped at someone at a stop sign"
If you stop for longer than a split second, you're doing it wrong and you'll hear from a Masshole.
"Crossed over four lanes of traffic without blinking an eye."
It's become a way of life. We cut people off and cross lanes of traffic without even looking sometimes. Just so we can get where we need to go quickly.
"hit a big ass pothole and turnt the volume up so you couldn’t hear the damage"
Potholes are rampant in Massachusetts. Hit one and it could ruin your car. But turn up the radio loud enough and it may just disappear.
"Get mad at a pedestrian for crossing the street or hitting the walk button"
Pedestrians have the right of way. But in Massachusetts, they're still taking their lives in their own hands."
