12 Things To Do This Fall Instead Of Watching The Patriots Suck
They’re 1-3. Their QB is suspect. They’re a shell of their former selves. The Patriots suck, and you deserve better. Look, I get it. For two decades, you happily spent…
Bill knows it. (Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images)
They're 1-3. Their QB is suspect. They're a shell of their former selves. The Patriots suck, and you deserve better.
Look, I get it. For two decades, you happily spent each and every autumn Sunday cooped up in your man cave or rumpus room or what have you, watching your beloved Patriots make mince meat of the competition. With Coach Bill Belichick at the helm and Tom Brady--the greatest QB of all time--leading the charge, your New England Patriots made it to NINE Super Bowls in a twenty-season span. And they won six. In your lifetime, you will never see another pro sports team go on a run like that.
No, I'm serious. You never will. And it's over now. So it's time to make a choice.
Sure, you can continue to sacrifice your Sundays to the NFL gods, watch a sub-par Patriots team roll to a 5-12 record, and go to bed mad. But what kind of choice is that? And let's be honest, it's not just the Patriots that are sub-par. The NFL product itself leaves much to be desired by way of sports entertainment. According to this piece from FiveThirtyEight: "An average NFL broadcast lasts well over three hours, yet it delivers a total of only 18 minutes of football action." And when that action leads to head trauma that leaves players staggering around the field or laid out and giving the fencing response, you need to ask yourself: what exactly am I watching here?
12 Things To Do This Fall Instead Of Watching The Patriots Suck
You said it, not me: fall is the best season in New England. So give Bill and the gang a break and take back your Sundays. Get out and enjoy all that fall has to offer. I said it: you deserve better.
Go Apple Picking
Here's a handful of orchards I like and an apple-picking song I wrote with my good friend Hardy to inspire you.
Visit A Haunted House
Or a haunted graveyard. Or a haunted forest. We've got a lot of haunted places here in MA.
Watch A Stephen King Movie
Still want to surf the sofa on Sunday? That's fine. You'll do better with one of these than Sunday Night Football.
Watch Another Scary Movie
Why stop at the Stephen King spooks?
Hit A Local Brewery
We've got breweries from all over New England for you to check out.
Fix A Fall Cocktail
Not a beer drinker? We've got you covered.
Go Leaf Peeping
Peak foliage is almost upon us. Blink and you'll miss it.
Navigate A Corn Maze
Or a corn "maize," if you're feeling punny.
Carve A Pumpkin
Or, if you're feeling lazy, let someone else do the carving for you.
Stock Up On Halloween Candy
And remember: if you buy it AFTER Halloween, you get a discount AND you save money!
Work On Your Halloween Costume
Halloween is on a Monday this year, so you know the weekend before is going to be chock-full of Halloween parties.
Have A Donut
An apple cider donut, that is.
