Remembering the Erfurt latrine disaster

What can I say? I have poop on the brain. And I fell down a Wiki rabbit hole. So let's talk about the Erfurt latrine disaster, shall we?

Again, I blame Depths of Wikipedia for this kick I'm on as of late. I didn’t find this through them, but the Wikipedia-related arcana that the Twitter feed shares got me thinking about weird stuff on the internet. Props to Annie Rauwerda who runs Depths of Wiki and has shared with the world the fact that there’s an active volcano called Stromboli and a town called Dildo. I haven't seen her share any poop content. Yet.

According to this Wikipedia entry:

The Erfurt latrine disaster occurred in July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt. On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement.

Pardon my French--and forgive me for grabbing the low-hanging fruit--but holy shit. So you've got this situation developing in Europe hundreds of years ago. Feuds are simmering, wars are breaking out, and Henry VI, King of Germany, decides to do something about it. He calls in leaders from all over the Holy Roman Empire, and before they can even start a dialogue?

The floor collapses under their combined weight and they all fall into the latrine in the cellar and die. Some drown from the liquid poop, some suffocate from the fumes. It's a nightmare scenario. But also funny?

I'm trying to imagine a modern-day version of this and all I can come up with if, say, the G7 Summit had a plumbing malfunction that somehow spread excrement everywhere. But that seems so far-fetched for modern-day politics. And poop. Keep scrolling for more toilet death, if you dare.

What started as my own morbid curiosity has now lead to this list of people who died on the toilet. I apologize for nothing.

I was going to hang onto this list and share it on the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death, but I thought that would be in poor taste. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm 100% going to bring this list back on the anniversary of The King going off to glory. So if you end up reading this in mid-August: yes, I know it's in poor taste. And once again, I apologize for nothing.

I blame Depths of Wikipedia. Not directly, mind you. I didn't find this list through them, but the Wikipedia-related arcana that the Twitter feed shares got me thinking about weird stuff on the internet. Props to Annie Rauwerda who runs Depths of Wiki and has shared with the world the fact that there's an active volcano called Stromboli and a town called Dildo. I don't think she's shared the poop list. Yet.

To paraphrase reggae legend Cutty Ranks, there are six million ways to die. But to die on the toilet is a particularly undignified way to go. Granted, some toilet-diers got what was coming to them. Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones, for instance. "And what? You'll kill your own father in the privy?" Actually, yes. Tyrion will. And did. Classic.

This list isn't fiction, though. It's fact. There are modern-day toilet deaths, there are historical toilet deaths. And my list is just an abridged version of Wikipedia's master list. Look, if anything, you'll have some new, interesting knowledge to impress your friends or maybe score you a few extra points at your local bar's trivia night. Just don't forget to flush.

The beloved rapper passed away in September of 2022. He's the most recent person of renown to go into the bathroom only to never come out again. Talk about a "fantastic voyage." Sorry. I'm so sorry.

The South Korean military dictator died in 2021. He had been battling cancer. He was found dead in his bathroom after "falling down," according to reports. More like falling off.

Another dictator who met his demise in the loo. Specifically, he died in prison. He slipped in the shower, then slipped into the afterlife after having a heart attack while seated on the pot. It's like there's a karmic pattern emerging here.

Poor Mr. Shale didn't just die on any old toilet. He died in a porta-potty. At Glastonbury. An unforgettable festival experience.

Arguably the most famous person to ever die on the toilet. The coroner's report cited cardiac arrest due to an alleged drug overdose. But fan theories for years have said otherwise. He simply pushed too hard.

https://rock929rocks.com/galleries/gallery-classic-images-of-elvis-presley/

Famously depicted by the artist Francis Bacon. Dyer died in Paris in 1971. Like The King, his cause of death was an overdose while using the toilet.

Arguably the most famous person to ever die on the toilet. Yes, I know I said the same thing about Elvis. I'll leave it up to you to decide which death was more famous. Or more tragic.

Now it's time to hop into the wayback machine. George II was King of Great Britain. He died in 1760. And was on a proto-toilet called a close stool.

The famous Japanese feudal lord. He was allegedly assassinated by a ninja while using the toilet. That might be the single-greatest sentence I'll ever type, so I'm just going to end things here.