Looking Back at the Cabbage Patch Kids Craze of 1983

The Cabbage Patch Kids craze that plagued the Christmas season of 1983 was a dark and dangerous time in American holiday history.

I was thinking about this recently while putting together my list of favorite Gen X Christmas toys from the '80s. Of course, this decade-defining toy phenomenon made the cut. The line of cloth dolls with plastic heads were first branded and licensed in 1982. According to the Cabbage Patch Kid Wikipedia page, the dolls set every toy industry sales record for the following three years.

One of those years was 1983. That's the year that the dolls were the toy on pretty much every kid's holiday wish list. I was six years old that Christmas and was transitioning from stuffed animals to action figures, so I wasn't looking for one of those under the tree. But I was well aware of them, because my parents used to put on the news around supper time and what I saw scarred my for life.

We would have been watching WCVB News Center 5 with Chet and Nat back in those days. Sadly, I wasn't able to find that local footage online anywhere. But I did find this clip from PIX11 News in New York. They lead with the same clip I remember seeing all those years ago: an angry store owner shouting and shaking a roll of wrapping paper at a mob of parents on the verge of a riot.

The dolls were so sought-after that parents were driving for miles and waiting for hours just to have a chance to buy one. This vault clip from ABC7NY leads with the same clip of the bedlam in Wilkes-Barre, with full-grown adults jostling for position as boxed dolls are thrown into the scrum. Then it segues to interviews with parents, some of whom were lucky enough to get the coveted toy.

"Can I have two?" "It's just one per customer." The look of disgust on that woman's face is second only the the look of disgust on mine as I'm watching her. The entitlement of the next mom--who was lucky enough to get a doll, mind you--but didn't get the one she wanted.

I could go on a rant about capitalism and greed and how it's warped the spirit of the season, but it's the holidays and I'm trying to stay positive. I'll just offer this: if you find yourself agreeing with what these parents were doing back in the '80s, maybe it's time for a self-check. Maybe it's time to take stock of what what matters to you and the behavior you're modeling for your kids.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hang out in the part of the '80s with some of the cooler toys that didn't spark a mania.

For last week's 12-Inch Poll, we went back to the '90s with a Millennial holiday wish list. This time, it's all about Gen X Christmas toys.

I'd love to tell you that I'm basing this poll on some list I found on some pop culture website or what have you. But that's not the case. I'm going purely off the dome here. There are times when research is required, sure. Like in this piece I put together on what MA towns might actually get a white Christmas. Then there are times when nostalgia edges out research. This is one of those times.

Sure, this whole exercise is inspired by my Millennial Christmas Toys poll. But the real inspiration comes from a short list of actual gifts I received for Christmas back in the '80s. Oh, and I should probably remind you, by way of touting my expertise, that I am a bona fide member of Gen X. Born in '77, baby. So the '80s were my prime toy-receiving years for Christmas, which is the holiday my family celebrates.

If you’re a Gen Xer like me, you might have received a few of these for the holidays. Even if you didn't, you were likely aware of them at the very least. Now, while I am just straight up going off the dome here, my memory isn't what it used to be. Blame age, blame COVID, blame whatever. So apologies in advance if I'm off by a year or two with a gift or two.

I'll just say this before we dive into the list: These are Christmas gifts from my childhood, and if you're a Gen Xer like me, they're probably from yours, too. So enjoy the nostalgia and vote for your favorite. Oh, and one more thing: here's the link to eBay for when you inevitably start trying to hunt down some of these classic toys.

The most sought-after home gaming console of the '80s. It debuted in the U.S. in 1985 and if you were lucky enough to be born middle-class, you were likely privileged enough to find one under the tree.

We didn't have an NES in my house growing up. We got SEGA one Christmas in the '80s. Which ruled, because we could play Nintendo at our friends houses and SEGA at home.

Anyone else remember the news footage of parents literally rioting in stores during the Christmas season of 1983 to try and get one of these for their kids? Capitalism at its finest!

Hey, if you weren't lucky enough to get a Cabbage Patch Kid in '83, maybe you scored Rainbow Brite in '84 or '85.

Marketing genius: take a Teddy Bear, change the color, stick a logo on its tummy. Lather, rinse, repeat. Rake in the dough.

Is it me, or did these get so big that, by the late '80s, Pizza Hut was giving out Pound Puppies with their Kid's Meals?

Was there a bigger action figure craze in the '80s than He-Man? Ask my brother and he'll say "No!" Because he owned pretty much all of them!

Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere! Super collectable and super fun. One of my favorite Gen X toys.

Guts! were like M.U.S.C.L.E. for kids who were militarized at a young age. My brother loved 'em.

You might remember the TV show, but did you have the toys? We did in my house, and they were a blast to play with.

Laser Tag (and it's cousin, Photon) became available at home in the mid-'80s. We were lucky enough to find it under the tree one year.

Board games have always been a holiday gift staple. But the way this one owned the '80s was otherworldly.