Do We Work TOO Hard? Connecticut Professor Says Yes

When you see the question, do we work TOO hard, the answer we say to ourselves is, of course we do. We've always been taught that the key to happiness is a secure future and financial stability. Well now, a Connecticut professor says that may not be true. Before we dig into that and ourselves, we have to look at our past, to help us in the present.

If you look at the latest Powerball mania, you would think it's money. Somehow, we all think that having financial security would be the answer to all of our problems. Imagine if we could buy any house, any car travel anywhere and not have to answer to anyone. Sure, it could make our life a little easier. But would it solve every problem? Some millionaires say "no."

Billionaire music industry mogul David Geffen who created Geffen Records says:

"Those who think money can make you happy, never actually had money."

Johnny Carson perhaps was the most successful and most famous talk show host of our time. The talk show icon famously once said: "Having money solves money problems." Carson knew this only too well, as he lost a son to suicide.

Bill Belichick makes a reported $20,000,000 a year. But may end up retiring wondering if he made the biggest career mistake of his life in letting Tom Brady go too soon.

Well to me, I have always believed in the quote: "On the road to success, it's never crowded on the extra mile." I always struggle with this. Because to me, there is no better feeling that completing a difficult project, or a week of hard work, and then seeing positive results. It comes with the territory, right? One of my favorite quotes from the iconic actor Michael J. Fox, was born in a moment of truth from his mother. When Fox was offered "Back To The Future" he would to film "Family Ties" during the day, and "Back To The Future" at night, sometimes ALL night. During the commute from one studio to another, Michael slept on a mattress in the back of a station wagon. His mother concerned for his health did NOT want him to take the movie role, saying "he'll be exhausted." Fox replied: "But it's the kind of exhausted, I LOVE." But according to a Yale professor, the extra mile is over rated.

Yale professor of psychology says hustling won't make you happy:

“We have an intuition [that] I’m going to earn a million dollars, and I’ll be happy. Then you hustle, you get there and you’re not happy,” says Santos. “You think, ‘I’ve got to hustle more ... Now I need $5 million to [be happy].’ That hustle culture misconception winds up doubling down on itself.”

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More than ever people need positive phrases to the help them everyday, and luckily an esteemed Harvard Psychologist has determined the nine positive phrases we should use everyday. Let's face it, times are tough, we have been through a lot in the past few years. We endured a global pandemic that has probably changed our world forever in more ways than we could have ever imagined. Is it true that tough times make tough people? Perhaps, but knowing how to deal with stress is the key.

Having confidence in yourself is more vital than ever. Let's face it, even with the advent of social media and the internet, we are more isolated than ever. Sure, you see your friends and family everyday online, but we see them less often now in the digital world. You are relying on yourself to "coach up" and "build up" the confidence needed to navigate this brave new world.

Forget the axiom that stress builds character, it also builds emotional scars that can last a lifetime. If you find yourself in need of some motivation, these simple nine positive phrases just might give the added lift of confidence that you're looking for.  Of course none of us will get through life without a modicum of stress, and the idea that we can all lead stress free lives is fantasy.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in marriages, love addiction and breakups, and received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School. She has written nearly 50 peer-reviewed journal articles and delivered more than 75 presentations on the psychology of relationships. Follow her on Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

The Dr says, "developing resilience requires getting to a place where you can see difficult life circumstances for what they are, and actively choosing to let them go." When you can let the little and sometime big things go, you are on your way to a better you!

"The key to resilience is not denying reality or seeking out a reason that makes us feel better about why something happened." Like football coaches preach, you are what your record says you are.

"We are hardwired to notice threats to our well-being but people who are resilient find a way to turn towards the positive even in times of difficulty." As your grandmother might have said, "count your blessings."

"A key component of resilience is emotional flexibility, or the ability to regulate your feelings, and reduce their intensity in a given situation." Sometimes you need to step back and take stock of things, you might have a better perspective with just a little more time.

"Openness to experiences and ability to shift your perspective. Ask, why did this happen to me too what can I take from this to help me grow? Can help you better navigate through life‘s inevitable ups and downs." Life's learning lessons continue long after you finish school.

"For resilient people believe that setbacks and challenges can feel horrible in the moment, but that nothing in life is permanent. It doesn’t mean that the pain will go away entirely, but it does mean that we can work to make them less traumatic over time."

"Resilience is associated with a basic acceptance that life isn’t always fair and that we all experience emotional hardships excepting this truth helps people to not take things personally." Nobody ever said life is easy, it can be hard a lot of the time, so when you accept that it's natural to have struggles, the more you will be able to face those hardships.

"Being resilient means that when you experience the pain of this treatment you shift your perspective from I’m a victim and powerless to help myself to. How can I grow from this?

"Emotional resilience is associated with grit and mental toughness. There is an understanding that we have to be strong and overcome adversity without letting it break us." This is a powerful affirmation that you should use whenever you're feeling up against a hard time, remind yourself that yes, I can get through this, than you give yourself a fighting chance.