(Photo by Billie Weiss/Getty Images)

This map of messiest states I came across has me cackling. Once again, Massachusetts gets done dirty. Literally.

 

There’s a joke to be made here, by the way. A few, actually. But the one I’m thinking of goes like this: “You want a ranking of the messiest states? OK, here you go: No. 1: drunk, No. 2: high, No 3…” You get it. But we’re not talking about states of being here. Or the obvious “No. 2” joke. We’re talking about the United States of America and which states are the cleanest and which states are the messiest.

 

The map and its accompanying breakdown come courtesy of Mr. Rooter. They called it The U.S. States With the Most Neat Freaks, but it’s really just a ranking of all 50 U.S. states from cleanest to messiest. Actually; scratch that. They weren’t able enough data to rank all 50 states; they had to skip a few. Which is fine, I guess. It just adds to the dubiousness of Massachusetts’ distinction.

 

The Messiest States: Massachusetts is Dirty at No. 2

Here’s a bit on the methodology: “We surveyed over 3,000 people from 44 states and asked them about their typical cleaning habits. Specifically, we got insight into how clean different rooms in their house currently are, and how many minutes they spend cleaning every week. From there, we assigned values to each answer choice and created an index from cleanest to messiest.”

 

And that’s how Massachusetts landed at No. 2. The second-messiest state in the union, with a cleanliness score just above 22.93. That score belongs to No. 1, dirty-ass Delaware. Take a look at the full map here, then keep scrolling and I’ll give you what, to my eye, looks like the other 5 states that round out the top of the list. I phrased it that way because there’s no actual rankings. Kinda winging it here.

  • 1) Delaware

    How could a state so small be so messy? Oh, wait. For years, my teenage son had the smallest bedroom in our house. And it was always the messiest. I guess that’s how. Hey, at least they’re keeping their kitchen clean for breakfast.

  • 2) Massachusetts

    Messychusetts? The study says we have the second-messiest bathrooms in the country! Excuse me while I go scrub behind the faucet of my bathroom sink.

  • 3) Washington

    Washington state, that is. If Washington D.C. was included, they’d be No. 1 with all those dirty politicians! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…

  • 4) Kentucky

    I mean, with all that amazing Kentucky BBQ, you’re bound to make a mess of the kitchen. And the dining room. And the living room.

  • 5) Oklahoma

    I have family that lives out in OK. I’ve visited them. They keep a clean house. I resent the implication that they don’t. Then again, the State of Oklahoma is banning books, which is dirty as hell.

  • 6) New Mexico

    I lived in New Mexico for almost 3 years. New Mexicans keep house well: clean, neat, organized. Again, I resent the implication. On the other hand, that green chile sauce…

  • 7) Utah

    The messiest thing about Utah is the fact that the Jazz had Stockton and Malone back in the day and never won a title.

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