The Idiot Criminal of the Day. Where would the Dave & Chuck the Freak show be without this feature? From botched getaways, to dead giveaway tattoos, to t-shirts that basically say “I’m the person you’re looking for.” We’ve seen quite a few idiot criminal stories that made us laugh and shake our heads. We went back and found some of the most absurd. Take a look at these geniuses and you’ll quickly realize why we call them the Idiot Criminal of the Day.
Bag of Drugs Labeling Gone Wrong
These guys got caught when they had a bag full of drugs with a really stupid label on it.
How stupid? See what it said here.
(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
I'm Gonna Pop Some Tags
If you stole a bunch of clothes, would you take the tags off them before you fled? Would you cut off the anti-theft devices attached to them? Would you be WEARING one of the stolen items when the cops tracked you down? If you answered “no,” then you’re not as idiotic as these people.
See how it all went down here.
(Photo by Adam Berry/Getty Images)
Idiot Criminal, Idiot T-Shirt
This genius from Arkansas stole a motorcycle and made a t-shirt out of the police brochure looking for him. Guess what?
They found him and his shirt and posted it for us all to see.
(Photo By Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
Not My Meth, Not My Pants
A guy caught with meth in his sweatpants pocket had an excuse: He borrowed the pants from someone else. Turns out the cops didn’t quite buy that for a very simple reason: a “bit” of a height difference.
See how much here.
(Photo by Hannelore Foerster/Getty Images)
DQ Idiot
This guy rammed into a DQ that was JUST remodeled.
We’re including him because only an idiot would inflict this kind of damage on an innocent and helpless Dairy Queen.
The surveillance video seen here is crazy because he’s going so fast it looks sped up.
(Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images)
Scratch Ticket Redemption
This guy stole scratch tickets and then tried to cash in the winning tickets at the same store he stole them from. Dumb right?
But what’s even dumber is how much the winning tickets were worth.
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Double Your Idiots, Double Your Fun
Two strangers get in accident and are arrested for the same crimes.
Find out how this idiot match made in heaven happened here.
(Photo by Pierre Crom/Getty Images)
Bad Tipper Gets Tipped
An idiot ordered 3 rounds of drinks without tipping then went out and started a fire at a Key West landmark.
The bartender saw police footage of the crime and recognized the bad tipper. He was able to help the police catch him because the guy left a clue. A real dumb one.
See the idiot in all his glory here.
(Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)
Fishing Needles?
Police responded to calls about a suspicious person and found this guy. He had some bulges in his pocket that turned out to be syringes. When they asked him about them, he said they were “for fishing.”
See why that didn’t quite add up here.
(Photo by David Ryder/Getty Images)
Carjack is Whack
When you pick a car to carjack, it’s usually a bad idea to try a marked police car.
But this guy did. That makes him an idiot and you can see video of him trying to flee here. (Spoiler alert: he doesn’t make it.)
(Photo by Stewart F. House/Getty Images)
I Don't Do That
Someone called the police to report stolen prescription drugs. When they questioned this idiot, he said it couldn’t be him because he’s a heroin user, not a pill popper.
He even showed the cops proof. See that proof here.
(Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
Ambulance Emergency
A guy stole a running ambulance, which would make you think that’s why he got caught. But it’s where he drove it that got him busted. See where he ended up.
(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
NOT the Bank Employee of the Month
An employee at a bank stole $88,000 in cash from the vault. But he couldn’t resist doing something really dumb with his haul. See how this idiot got caught.
(Photo Illustration by Alex Wong/Getty Images)