Florida Woman Arrested For Striking Ex Using What?

A 58-year old woman in Florida was arrested after assaulting her 70-year old ex-husband. However, it's not the arrest that's caught the country's attention, as much as what she used to assault him.

You've probably heard several wild stories about people being arrested in Florida. This is one of the craziest.

Prosecutors have no declined to pursue a felony case against the woman, who's a doctor. They'll no longer be pursuing the case against the woman for striking her ex-husband with soggy bread.

Sliced bread may be our greatest invention. However, it can also be used as a weapon, evidently.

Heather Neeley, of St. Petersburg, was arrested at home following an altercation last month. According to The Smoking Gun, the licensed psychiatrist was charged with battery on a person 65 years or older, which is a third-degree felony.

According to The Smoking Gun, the victim and Neeley were arguing when she, "grabbed a handful of bread from the loaf" then went on to wet the bread and began hitting him with the soggy slices. When police arrived to the scene, they said the man was noticeably wet and had some bread stuck to his shirt, per The Smoking Gun.

Reports say she tried to deny what happened but was unable to explain the wet bread found on the scene. Turns out, you don't make bread wet to make sandwiches. I'm not sure if you can find any sort of excuse that could make logical sense for having soaked bread around. Especially when someone inside the home is literally wearing some of it. That's hard to explain.

Look, don't hit people with bread. I mean, don't hit people at all! But really don't hit them with bread. Whether it's soggy or dry, wheat or white, don't do it.

While committing crimes may seem black and white (you either broke the law or you didn't), there are certainly some crimes that are dumber than others. Sometimes it's the crime itself that's wild, other times, it's the people committing said crimes. These are 5 of the craziest, cringeworthy crimes ever committed.

Crimes can happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone. However, it takes a very unique individual, a case study if you will, to commit some of these outrageously dumb crimes. Years ago, these criminals would have been featured on Spike TV or one of those America's Dumbest Criminal shows. Today, I'm not sure if those shows are around...and I'm certain Spike TV isn't around anymore. That's a story for another time.

Crimes can happen for a number of reasons. They may happen out of necessity. They could also happen on accident. These crimes, however, do not fall into those categories. These crimes are different. None of these would accidentally happen. They also aren't a matter of life or death. There's no ethics quiz here, or any matters of 'would you steal bread to support your family?' These crimes, and criminals, aren't straight up cringeworthy.

While all of these crimes are crazy and certainly cringeworthy, they also make for excellent conversation pieces. That's why I've gone and found five examples of the wildest stories that Dave and Chuck the Freak have talked about and made a list highlighting the best of the best. Let's be honest...what's better than reading a story about one of the craziest crimes ever committed? Or, watching Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about some of the dumbest crimes ever committed? Personally, I'm going with the funny storytellers.

They add their own two cents and perspectives on these stories that nobody else could provide. Not even those talking heads on the dumbest criminal shows. Am I the only one who remembers those? I feel like they were a staple on TruTV or VH1, but now all I can find on TruTV is Impractical Jokers, which is awesome but...you get it. Let's not delay! Here's the list!

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Wisconsin who was arrested after lighting his own car on fire and being found naked, covered in liquid soap near a lakae. He is supposedly a licensed psychotherapist, works with 'magic mushrooms' and is "pretty much an expert in magic."

Dave & Chuck the Freak hear about a new Amazon vendor scam involving glue guns and head-lamps, or a potential windfall if you're James.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Dearborn, Michigan who exposed himself to someone at a Burlington Coat Factory. They are very confused when they learn about their hours and huge social media following. Then, they try to figure out what they even sell there.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Las Vegas, Nevada who stripped nude and danced on the gaming tables before he was restrained and arrested. Vegas, baby...

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Illinois who accidentally shot himself in the leg whilst dreaming of burglars breaking into his house. Living the proverbial dream isn't always what it seems...

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!