We Need to Talk About This 90s Band Alignment Chart

At least three people have tagged me on various social platforms in recent days to get my take on this 90s Band Alignment Chart.

The chart has been making the internet rounds since the beginning of June. And, like most media of this nature, it's been chopped and clipped and too-many-times removed from it's original form and it's original creator. I did a bit of digging around and found that original creator: a user by the name of @LadyDragonfly on Mastodon. You can find the original post on Mastodon right here.

https://universeodon.com/@LadyDragonfly/110499894266130601

So what we have here--and I'm pulling this right from the image's alt text--is an alignment chart showing various 90s bands plotted on a dual axis chart of Happy-Sad and Angry-Horny. The chart also includes a Sarcasm Belt: a donut shaped area in the middle. It really is a work of art. The concept is fun and funny and the chart is full of bands Gen Xers like me know and love.

And being the Gen X rock DJ that I am, you know I need to add my own snarky commentary.

First, the Sarcasm Belt. A brilliant stroke, as sarcasm was hot currency in the 90s. And yes, there is a difference between happy sarcasm (Nada Surf) and sad sarcasm (Nirvana). I love the Horny axis, too. Having it range from happy to sad truly demonstrates the spectrum of 90s horniness. Horny and hooking up? Morphine is in the CD player. Horny and lonely? The Cure it is.

Speaking of the Horny axis, I'd love to see Deftones on that side of Sad. Sure, their debut album is Angry. But Chino & Co. got pretty damn horny after that. And while I understand Foo Fighters at the dead-center, if it were my call I'd swap them with the Smashing Pumpkins. I think of all the bands on the chart, Pumpkins are the quintessential HornyHappyAngrySad band.

How many of these Gen-X words do you still use in your daily vocabulary? Take a look at the list and find out.

To start with, I suppose we should clearly define "Gen-X." Because depending on who you talk to, you might get a different range of years. Of course, I'm a Gen-Xer myself, so I could just say: "It's 196x to 198x," but I'm not what you'd consider a "reliable source." And again, since I'm a Gen-Xer, I'll go to the reliable source my generation went to back in the day: Encyclopedia Brittanica. Brittanica defines Generation X as any person born between the years of 1965 and 1980. Apologies to my brother Nate, who self-identifies as Gen-X despite being born in 1981. I guess you're an "Elder Millennial" now, bro.

Speaking of Millennials, as Mental Floss states in their piece: "Members of Generation X found ways to establish their own lingo when they were coming of age," despite not having the online platforms that Millennials and Gen-Z member had growing up. And a lot of that lingo that we established lives on. We Gen-Xers were lucky enough to grow up during some of the most important musical moments of the 20th century. The punk movement of the late '70s, hardcore following on its heels in the early '80s, and of course the explosion of grunge in the '90s. And throughout that entire period? The birth and evolution of alternative rock and hip-hop.

Music is culture, and culture breeds its own language. Some of these Gen-X words started out as musical terms, then crossed over into popular culture. Scroll through the list, complete with the throwback examples I've given with each. Then let me know how many of them you're still hella rockin' to the max, dude.

You know a slang word has legs when it pops up on a TV show three decades later. That's Manfried, by the way. Talking pinata from 'Adventure Time.' Voiced by Maria Bamford, a Gen-Xer.

Omnipresent in hip-hop throughout the '80s and '90s. I could've chosen an example from literally thousands of Golden Era hip hop tracks. But I went with A Tribe Called Quest. Because I love them.

Sure, "dude" has it's roots in the American West. But Gen-X really made the word our own. It's evolved to become a gender-neutral, all-encompassing term. And it's also the name of a pretty famous movie character.

West coast surf and skate culture brought this one to the forefront. It's frequently combined it with the aforementioned "dude."  And now, thanks to Pixar, the term has been introduced to a new generation. Gnarly!

I mean, MTV had a whole damn show dedicated to headbangers! Riki Rachtman was the host of Headbangers Ball here in the U.S. But in the U.K., the host was Vanessa Warwick. She rocked.

More goodness from youth culture. This one started out on the West Coast. But over the years, it made its way eastward. I've heard East Coast heads use "hella" plenty.

Sure, "rock" music was a product of the Greatest Generation and the Boomers. But saying something "rocks" was invented by Generation X. I won't be hearing any arguments to the contrary at this time. Thank you.

Another one from hip-hop culture that made it's way into the modern rock world. That's the beauty of Gen X and our music and our slang. After awhile, it all blended together. And that's a good thing.

This feels West Coast, too. But it was everywhere in the '80s. Music, TV, movies...especially Heathers. I mean, I could've just posed clips from Heathers for pretty much all of these terms, right?

Those "Young Urban Professionals" were all the rage back in the '80s. Then they took all that newfound wealth that never really "trickled down," purchased their prosperity, and pulled up the ladder behind them. Thanks, Yuppies!

Would Clueless have even been Clueless without "as if?" No, wait. What I meant to say was: as if Clueless would have even been Clueless without "as if."

This is a complicated one. You can blame Gen X for corrupting the literal meaning of literally. But it's really Millennials that took it and ran with it. Literally.

"Oh well, whatever, never mind..." - Kurt Cobain, voice of a generation.